Day 3 - August 31,2010

Still contemplating on the things that is happening in my life. Thanks to Iterax I had a good night sleep. But I knew I can't continue with this. I feel so rotten inside. I just breath because it's voluntary... There is just a thin line if you will compare me to a dead the only difference is I still breath but without it I am a DEAD person. I envy those who are dead because they already have a peace of mind. Tomorrow is my birthday, but I am not excited nor happy about it. If happiness can be bought by money I already bought tons of it but reality bites not everything in this world can be bought by money which is ironically the most important things in a persons lives. Happiness, contentment, peace of mind and love...... I just wish I was still a little girl who lives in a fancy world of imagination where everything is possible. There's the prince charming that will kiss a princess and they will live happily ever after. Yes, indeed I still wish there is such a thing as "Happily Ever After"................

NP: Love Story

Day 2- August 30,2010

Another sleepless night. I attended mass yesterday with my kids most of the time the homily of the priest is all about the problems you are having. I dunno if it is just purely coincidence but mostly it hits the inner part of you. The homily is about the divorce and abortion bill,  majority of couples nowadays resort to separation when they are having marital problems, they thought that it is the best solution for what they are going through.. the priest reminded that marriage is a contract bonded by the love of God and no one should break. I just remember what was written in our wedding invitation  "for a man and woman will leave their house, so they are no longer two but one flesh, What God has joined together, let no man separate". I know with Gods help I can be able to surpass all this trial. I still feel the pain. I cover my tears with a smile, I cover the pain with a laugh, I choose to close my eyes to hide all the pains in my heart. If somebody will ask me what is happiness I can't answer it for I already forget what is it to be happy....

NP: Isomia

Day 1 - August 29, 2010

I've been through a lot lately. I just found that my husband is having an affair. We discussed about a lot of things. He asked for forgiveness and wants to start anew. I thought that it will be the best to put an end in our 10 years marriage. But as I looked in my children's eyes I kinda have a second thought. Will it be fair for them if I just think about how I feel? Will it be also fair for me to endure that pain that I have right now? I only have few simple wishes in my life. First to be able to raise my kids as a well rounded person. Second is for them to finish college. Third is to have a family....... After deliberating with myself i just ended with a decision to give my husband another chance. Maybe I will not be the first woman to do this so why not give it a try. In the next 365 days I will account my every days thoughts about this Road to Recovery blog. I just hope that I made the right decision. Sometimes we need to be selfless for the sake of others. Pain is a temporary feeling. It may last a minute, an hour, a day, a year or a decade, but eventually it will subside and something else will takes it place. If I quit now, the pain that I have right now will last forever..............................


NP: Rainbow